Wednesday, March 27, 2013


Only fourteen more days till publication of DARE ME FOREVER.  I'm excited, nervous, and did I mention nervous?

Here it is!  I really hope you enjoy it.



I stood at the edge of the water and felt the cool night sand beneath my feet.
I felt like I was on the verge of something huge—a transition in my life that would change everything. The waves crashed softly under the moonlight as the tide gently tugged on my toes, trying to pull me out, into the deep ocean, the vast unknown. I was scared about this new time in my life, but even still I felt excitement stirring in me like water gently set to boil.
It was times like this I could practically hear my dad’s voice: “In times of trouble, times where you have to make a big decision, that’s when you’ll learn who you are.” He repeated it so often that it became almost like a prayer for him. “Are you the kind of person who lives with her head or with her heart?”
That question stayed with me, guiding the choices I made, gently pulling at me like the waves at my feet that night. Dad said, “You can’t predict what cards you’ll be dealt, or how the dice will role, but you can play it safe, ignore the possibilities around you, and live a smaller life.  Or play out the hand you’ve gotten with gusto.”  He was careful to make sure I understood…he didn’t believe in gambling but also he didn’t think life should be wasted by fear.  He believed in daring to take the plunge, daring to feel, daring to live. Well, he lived by his heart, and little good it did him.  At forty-nine years old, he dropped dead of a heart attack.
When he died, I learned what kind of person I was. The quiet, safe life was the one for me. Unexpected things could still happen, but I needed to build a life with a strong foundation, one that was real. Besides, I needed to be practical. I was too busy taking care of my mom and little brother to entertain thoughts of living the way Dad had wanted me to. 
And I’d made good on my terms.  My little brother was in college, and I was starting my own business. I wasn’t gambling with my heart, and I wasn’t daring to live boldly. I had made my choice and was making the best of my life: I just hoped that if my dad could see me he’d be proud.
But even if you have the best laid plans, life has a way of taking new turns.  Those sturdy walls I had built, in order to raise my brother Luke and protect myself weren’t impenetrable. I guess my heart wasn’t satisfied with living safely. But it wasn’t until I connected with him, emotionally, mentally, sexually, that I wanted to tear down those walls, open my heart, and dare myself to really live.


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